Welcome to my Amusement Park

I just threw the last wad of old journals and new business checks into our blazing apartment fire place.  I always expected to feel some sadness at such a purging, or a stronger sense of the symbolic act of burning all that has been holding me back.  But I don’t really feel much at all, except that sort of relief at completing one more necessary task before a big adventure!
Those pages smolder, then the light disappears, along with any meaning I had attached to them.  What do I need business checks for? I don’t like sitting at a desk – even if it is my own.  I don’t do my best writing or creating or teaching or anything from a hard seat and a polished surface.  Offices aren’t my thing.  I’ve been trying to fit in a framework I thought was right for me, but it just never worked out.  Seeing clients/typing case notes, even on my own schedule – is still too much of a box for me.  It feels like I am finally on the bring of living as I am intended – OUTSIDE. Learning the plants and creatures living around me, carrying all of my life on my back, walking up mountains and through streams.
Finally…finally I am going to take the deepest breath and feel all forms of expectation, obligation, fitting in and comparisons, bosses and dusting shelves, responding to voicemails and paying for internet, leave my being as I exhale my first true breath.
I’ve been a little uptight about writing this first post, pre-trip.  A lifetime of throat chakra issues have me tending toward fear of speaking out (believe it or not, there is MUCH I DON’T voice!).  But this roamandwrite blog is really going to be me saying all the weird shit that pops into my mind – my theories, ideas, discoveries.  The joyous loving me and the cynical ass hole who seems to appear to prevent me from drifting out into hippy-dippy space.
I sort of hope that in keeping this blog of my travels, others will be inspired to go out and do all the things they dream of but don’t, for the same reasons I didn’t do this before. They are…
-Money
-Work
-Family Obligations
-Fear
-Going against social norms
-Debt
-Anything Else!
At the least maybe my writing will be entertaining. My moods shift frequently and when I’m on the trail alone there will be plenty of ups and downs.  Welcome to my amusement park! I’m gonna do my best to be raw, uncensored.  So if you are easily offended or can’t handle me, please don’t read it just to get outraged. OK.

I think this is good for now.  I want to express a huge bushel of gratitude to my very dear friend Candace Hunter, my first teacher of things herbal and from the homestead, for taking her time to manage and edit roamandwrite while I’m out.  Without her this would not be possible AND I would not be where I am today.  Check out her site The Practical Herbalist for tons of thorough and well written content, a fantastic radio show, and a lot more. Shout out homegirl!

And to everyone supporting me in some way, thank you, and happy trails to you, until we meet again!

Love,
El Roco (before I was named Orange)
August 28, 2014, 1

August 28, 2014, 2

One thought on “Welcome to my Amusement Park”

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